Princeton continued: a God of redemption.

God is just so so good.  As the holidays approach, one always (or at least I always) contemplate the past year.  I year ago, I was at a different job, working round the clock, too busy for a social life, just trying to stay afloat.  God taught me so much through that tough and burdened time: To lean on him, and look to him for deliverance, to trust him regardless of what my circumstances suggested.  A year later, with a job at Focus, a vibrant social life, and a passion for the students I am serving 'He turned my mourning into dancing'. 

Working with high schoolers has made it impossible for me to not reflect on my own struggle to survive that difficult time in school.  Like my work experience last year, (though in pain I was being  prepared to leap into the seemingly insane path of ministry) I now see how my tortured years of high school perfectly fashioned me for the work I now do at Focus.  At graduation in 2003, I was battered and confused by the emotional/spiritual drought that my Fairfield County High School experience had produced.  But in reality, I was gaining a unique experience that has made me perfectly prepared to serve the students at Focus who are within the same drought, whether they know it or not.  

My own high school experience has been much on my brain as my five year reunion is this coming weekend.  When I graduated, I shook the dust of that school and felt satisfied at the idea of never returning, not even for a visit.  But being human, I have a really hard time letting go of unresolved relationships.  I really felt that God was telling me to let go of those broken friendships and entrust them to him.  This year, through joining the Focus team, God has given me the ability to reconnect with many friends from my high school summers.  He has brought friends back into my life, who I had really had to let go of because of distance and circumstance.  The photo above, from this past weekend in Princeton, shows me walking with my fabulous girlfriend Meredith who went to Michigan with me.  Amazingly, we both independently started working for Focus in the same month.  Because of high school I had learned to let go of friendships, God has been showing me that when I entrust them to him, he will lovingly bring them back.  I can't express the joy in this.  Redemption and reunion, in the true sense, is really an act of God, something we can't make happen by our own means.  This actually gives me the freedom to let go of the relationships that may be better left alone (reunion in mind), and trust God can and will renew all things in his timing.  I'll keep you posted on how this weekend goes.  I'm sure that there is some lesson in store!

Princeton Weekend!

Just came home from a crazy weekend of chaos and pandemonium at Princeton University.  Every year, the weekend before thanksgiving, we take about 150 Focus students from all over the Northeast to Princeton for a fall retreat.  We have games, songs, talks, etc.  The photo above shows a concert we threw for the kids Saturday night.  What started as a bit reserved, nervous, and awkward, turned into the fabulous dance party you see in the photo.  I think 'Twist and Shout' is what you are witnessing above.  That pretty much sums it up.  The kids come apprehensive to listen to talks about God and share what's going on with their lives, and by the end there is some emotional dancing on chairs.    It's only a weekend, but it was such a joy to see some of these kids be allowed to chill out and let loose in the midst of their crazy over scheduled lives.  Hopefully, they took away the fact that they can invite God into their situations, that he wants to be in the midst of their mess.  That peace will change things, even if none of their circumstances do! 

Really?..I get to do that?!

Yes.  This is my job.  Hanging out with students.  Talking about real stuff and then also just goofing off/looking like a dork.  A member of our sponsoring committee recently called me a professional friend.  I can't tell you how much I love this job, and can't believe that meeting with middle schooler and high schoolers is what I get paid for.  The transition with the students has been phenomenal.  I feel as though I have known the students for years.    What a incredible blessing, filled with opportunity.

Home Sweet Home!

I went home to CT this past weekend.  Initially, I didn't want to go, cause I wanted to hang out with friends in the city (a feeling I don't think I've ever had in any situation I have ever been in!), but getting out to 'the country' was revitalizing in unspeakable ways.  The fam and I did all of our favorite Autumn haunts.  We drove down back roads listening to 'chopsticks' (or Purcell's King Arthur); we went to 'the ledge', which is the most amazing overlook in Weston; we went to Weir, or affectionately known as, weird farm and walked around (see photos); We even got Dad to bring us to Silverman's to get apples (we didn't exit the car though, because the masses of humanity frightened us all).  It was a fabulous weekend.  Good to leave the city and reflect on all that has happened.  Discussions on my what's going on in my life kept invigorating my passion for the work at Focus.    

  

Fall Hang out!

Last weekend I had my first official hang out with one of my Focus girls.  We had such a blast.  Went to the fall farmers' market in Union square, and had an absolute ball drinking cider, choosing pumpkins, eating maple syrup candy and laughing out heads off together.  We ended our time together trekking our goods home on the subway while singing Focus songs.  I'm so thrilled that this is only the beginning of such hang outs.  

So this week, we started our 'breakfast meetings'.  This is the main way in which I will get to connect with students in a smaller group setting.  We get together, have breakfast at an upper east side diner, chat, laugh, and have a mini bible study.  It's me, my co-worker and typically about four girls.  Like I said, we have only just started, and at this point the girls are wondering who this blonde chic is, but I am so thrilled at the idea that I am finally getting in the core of my job, namely, connecting with the NYC Focus girls.  I can't believe that my job involves me doing these hangouts with students that I would love doing any day anyways!  More and more, I am really starting to see how this is not about my ability to connect with students, rather God is letting me be a part of something he is doing.  I'm feeling challenged to let go of my concept of my 'gifts' and 'talents' and realize that any connection that ends up happening with these kids is really about God opening hearts.  The more I really see that to be true, the more I see how honored I am to be a here to see God at his work.  I get to be a part of a crazy ride.  

My prayer- that the girls God wants at these breakfasts would come, that there wouldn't be conflicts, and that I would really start connecting with the girls.

The Office

Well, it seems that my life gets more and more ridiculous every day.  We officially started 'work' this week at NYC Focus.  Now a week ago, we didn't have an office space.  This region of Focus didn't have an office all last year, which had been a big struggle.  At the eleventh hour, after much prayer and hope (literally a prayer request for a space was in the Focus newsletter this week), someone donated a free space! Now, not just any space, but an office at 75 Rockefeller Center!  This is obviously such a huge blessing to Focus, but it is such a blessing to me personally.  Last year, I used to wake up an hour early just so that I could sit in Dean and Deluca's at Rockefeller center and feel like I was really in New York after my long commute from Connecticut to the city.  Rockefeller Center has always represented the core of NYC to me.  Where my parents had their first date, the rink, the tree, Good Morning America, Saks.  It sounds cheesy, but it is such a gift from God to me, to Audrey.  I'd have thought that I could only get there by climbing the corporate ladder.  Something that is, frankly, way out of my reach. Yet, I get to work there at the job which I thought I was making sacrifices when I took!  Once again, thinking small.  With God, all things are possible.  Again he is trustworthy and delivers above and beyond expectations.  (And don't even get me started thinking what it will be like at Christmas time!)

Another huge blessing, this past weekend my dear kindred spirit and best friend, Lindsay, came to visit me all the way from Michigan.  It was definitely another 'God thing' as I was initially nervous to have Lindsay here so soon after I had moved in, but the timing ended up being perfect.  Linds and I were able to tromp about the city, get lost on the subway, eat my host family's food, and basically do all the 'settling in' things together, which I was really nervous to do along.  There was such a calm in having someone who new me in the midst of so many new unknowns.  So much love!

Linds and I humorously (hopefully) displaying all our favorite things!