Longing for Heaven?

It's hard to express, but I love this time in my life so much that I'm missing it and longing for it already, as if I were remembering it.  I've been listening to this weird song Something About Us, by Daft Punk.  I'm just hearing it for the first time, but actually it reminds me of St. Andrews.  Another incredible time of my life that I long for.  It actually breaks my heart to think about St. Andrews, as if it were a broken relationship.  Somehow, I already feel that about now, my life in NYC.  I think it's this deep rooted knowledge of reality that I can't hold on to anything, anyone or anytime here in this life.  Ironically, or not ironically, the sermon at RJ's church last Sunday was similarly about longing for heaven.  The celebration and pain that beauty brings (we watched that amazing clip from American Beauty - "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it").  RJ also read the passage from Mere Christianity on longing for heaven.  The memory of something not known that is in each of us.  I'm feeling it intensely.  The blessings are so intense.  I am meeting with so many students.  I'm seeing so much real joy.  I know that I'm in the middle of something real and powerful.  Praise be to God.  The guy who planted the memory of something more in each of us.  A NYC scene that evokes such memory and longing

Christmastime is Here!

It's the most wonderful time of the year in the most wonderful city in the world!  Life has been running a million miles a minute the past few weeks (hence why I have not written), but I have been having the time of my life.  I now understand why my parents fell in love in NYC in december and then spent their honeymoon here the following Christmas (today marks their 30th Wedding Anniversary)!  Between going to my student's Lesson's and Carols, street Christmas Fairs, popping into friend's makeshift christmas parties, and cheap seats at the Nutcracker, I have been thoroughly enjoying the merriment.  I can't stop feeling blessed that God brought me to New York, and has given me the freedom and ability to share in these simple pleasures that bring me so much joy.  I've posted some photos for you all to get a peak into what I've been able to witness:

                                    Crazy Macy's!

       Ridiculous scene on the subway.  Couldn't resist snapping a pic!

     Decorations in the diner where I have bible studies.

                                      Inside Saks 5th Ave.

                  A decorated Upper East Side brownstone.

       Tree outside Lincoln Center where I saw the Nutcracker.

     A woman working on beautifully elaborate ginger bread houses.

      Almost every street corner has this Peter Spiers-esque scene of Christmas trees for sale.

Princeton continued: a God of redemption.

God is just so so good.  As the holidays approach, one always (or at least I always) contemplate the past year.  I year ago, I was at a different job, working round the clock, too busy for a social life, just trying to stay afloat.  God taught me so much through that tough and burdened time: To lean on him, and look to him for deliverance, to trust him regardless of what my circumstances suggested.  A year later, with a job at Focus, a vibrant social life, and a passion for the students I am serving 'He turned my mourning into dancing'. 

Working with high schoolers has made it impossible for me to not reflect on my own struggle to survive that difficult time in school.  Like my work experience last year, (though in pain I was being  prepared to leap into the seemingly insane path of ministry) I now see how my tortured years of high school perfectly fashioned me for the work I now do at Focus.  At graduation in 2003, I was battered and confused by the emotional/spiritual drought that my Fairfield County High School experience had produced.  But in reality, I was gaining a unique experience that has made me perfectly prepared to serve the students at Focus who are within the same drought, whether they know it or not.  

My own high school experience has been much on my brain as my five year reunion is this coming weekend.  When I graduated, I shook the dust of that school and felt satisfied at the idea of never returning, not even for a visit.  But being human, I have a really hard time letting go of unresolved relationships.  I really felt that God was telling me to let go of those broken friendships and entrust them to him.  This year, through joining the Focus team, God has given me the ability to reconnect with many friends from my high school summers.  He has brought friends back into my life, who I had really had to let go of because of distance and circumstance.  The photo above, from this past weekend in Princeton, shows me walking with my fabulous girlfriend Meredith who went to Michigan with me.  Amazingly, we both independently started working for Focus in the same month.  Because of high school I had learned to let go of friendships, God has been showing me that when I entrust them to him, he will lovingly bring them back.  I can't express the joy in this.  Redemption and reunion, in the true sense, is really an act of God, something we can't make happen by our own means.  This actually gives me the freedom to let go of the relationships that may be better left alone (reunion in mind), and trust God can and will renew all things in his timing.  I'll keep you posted on how this weekend goes.  I'm sure that there is some lesson in store!

Princeton Weekend!

Just came home from a crazy weekend of chaos and pandemonium at Princeton University.  Every year, the weekend before thanksgiving, we take about 150 Focus students from all over the Northeast to Princeton for a fall retreat.  We have games, songs, talks, etc.  The photo above shows a concert we threw for the kids Saturday night.  What started as a bit reserved, nervous, and awkward, turned into the fabulous dance party you see in the photo.  I think 'Twist and Shout' is what you are witnessing above.  That pretty much sums it up.  The kids come apprehensive to listen to talks about God and share what's going on with their lives, and by the end there is some emotional dancing on chairs.    It's only a weekend, but it was such a joy to see some of these kids be allowed to chill out and let loose in the midst of their crazy over scheduled lives.  Hopefully, they took away the fact that they can invite God into their situations, that he wants to be in the midst of their mess.  That peace will change things, even if none of their circumstances do! 

Really?..I get to do that?!

Yes.  This is my job.  Hanging out with students.  Talking about real stuff and then also just goofing off/looking like a dork.  A member of our sponsoring committee recently called me a professional friend.  I can't tell you how much I love this job, and can't believe that meeting with middle schooler and high schoolers is what I get paid for.  The transition with the students has been phenomenal.  I feel as though I have known the students for years.    What a incredible blessing, filled with opportunity.

Home Sweet Home!

I went home to CT this past weekend.  Initially, I didn't want to go, cause I wanted to hang out with friends in the city (a feeling I don't think I've ever had in any situation I have ever been in!), but getting out to 'the country' was revitalizing in unspeakable ways.  The fam and I did all of our favorite Autumn haunts.  We drove down back roads listening to 'chopsticks' (or Purcell's King Arthur); we went to 'the ledge', which is the most amazing overlook in Weston; we went to Weir, or affectionately known as, weird farm and walked around (see photos); We even got Dad to bring us to Silverman's to get apples (we didn't exit the car though, because the masses of humanity frightened us all).  It was a fabulous weekend.  Good to leave the city and reflect on all that has happened.  Discussions on my what's going on in my life kept invigorating my passion for the work at Focus.    

  

Fall Hang out!

Last weekend I had my first official hang out with one of my Focus girls.  We had such a blast.  Went to the fall farmers' market in Union square, and had an absolute ball drinking cider, choosing pumpkins, eating maple syrup candy and laughing out heads off together.  We ended our time together trekking our goods home on the subway while singing Focus songs.  I'm so thrilled that this is only the beginning of such hang outs.